Let me be honest here - I struggle with success and self-esteem and what those things look like in action. As you all may or may not know, I don't currently have a job and I don't hold a degree. How I've been defining success has to do with one or the other of those. I really want a sustainable job that will allow me to move into my own apartment, and I also want to be respected as an individual and be able to explain 'what I do' in a way that's validating and legitimate. So often when someone asks me what I do or what industry I work in or what I went to school for, I stumble over my words and can't explain myself. This ends up making me feel like less of a person and more often than not, a failure.
I think success means something different than how I've been defining it. My thought patterns have run as follows: "If I could just get that job..." "If I could just make that many sales.." "If I could just move into my own apartment..." Would those things really fulfill me? No. And I should know better. They might help for a little while, but I know I would soon be looking to the next thing and becoming dissatisfied all over again.
Well, I don't want to feel that way anymore. I am not a failure and I'm redefining success. I have accomplished things, and I continue to do so, and I want to start recognizing little achievements and successes.
Also, I want to share a particularly awesome podcast with you from the girls over at She Percolates. They interview someone or talk about a topic every week, and they recently interviewed one of my favorite bloggers, Meredith Crawford of One Sheepish Girl. I can relate to this girl more than you know - similar age group, similar interests, and similar struggles. She also struggled with defining success and figuring out what it means, and in this particular podcast she talks a lot about what she's learned. I encourage you to give it a listen, just play it in the background while you do the dishes or work on your homework or whatever. It really helped me and I hope it helps you too!
Today also marks the beginning of a new era for my shop - I talked about it in yesterday's post, but today is the official launching date! Head on over to check out all the new pretty things I've listed - all crochet jewelry! I kept my wall art pieces because they seem to be a hit, but for the most part, all I'm going to be selling is jewelry. Tell me what you think!